Hey don't bust my balls about the title; YOU try coming up with a movie reference where the fourth entry doesn't absolutely suck!!
This blog will be a bit different than other vacation blogs sice I won't have much internet access on the ship. Internet is available but is ridiculously expensive and probably not that reliable either.
Monday morning, one day before the vacation began, I woke up with a cold. A bitch of a cold. Excellent timing. By Tuesday it had moved down into my chest a bit, which caused some coughing (I'm sure my fellow air travellers were quite pleased with me) but I was feeling a tad better; the big problem is that although my nose was less stuffy, my olfactory senses were completely gone! I couldn't smell or taste a damn thing. On the way down we had dinner at Olive Garden and I had something that looked like Fettuccini Alfredo and tasted like Rubber Bands in A Flavourless Cream Sauce (not a favourite recipe). For breakfast before the flight I was served something that appeared to be bacon and eggs, but what was, in fact, tofu and more tofu. Gross.
A pleasant-ish, uneventful flight brought us to Fort Lauderdale. I was 'lucky' enough to be seated next to the female equivalent of Del Griffith, who I could tell wanted to engage me in conversation from the second she sat down. I am not usually that interested in conversing with a total stranger, but generally I will make polite chit-chat if necessary; but feeling as I was, there was no chance in Hell I was going to let this looney disturb me all flight, so I put the headphones on and went into fake-sleep mode. It worked until it was time to put the electronics away and land, when she then took the opportunity to squeeze 5.5 hours of conversation into 20 minutes. I literally started reading the vomit bag but she didn't take the hint.
Anyway, we landed exactly on time and our limo driver was waiting for us as promised. Not really a limo per se, but a Mercedes. Could have booked a stretch for almost the same price but seemed a tad grotesque for two people, but this was incredibly comfortable and a very pleasant way to get to our hotel in Miami. It wasn't much more money than a cab would have been either so I'd highly recommend it to anyone wanting to go from FLL to Miami.
The hotels that were recommended to us near the Port were obscenely expensive (And when I say obscene, I am not talking just profane, I am talking really offensive) so I booked us into a Best Western in the heart of Miami. Still not cheap, but at least I didn't have to sell a kidney to pay for it. I'll admit I was a little nervous when we pulled up. Not that the hotel wasn't nice, but the neighborhood reminded me a little too much of the slums of LA. Our limo driver (who was Cuban) said it was a Cuban neighborhood and was much safer than it appeared, even going so far as to suggest we would be safe walking the streets at night. I was skeptical.
We walked down the street a couple blocks to Pizza Hut for dinner. I figured I would have to be able to taste the greasy-tomato-sauced-cheese-laden-meat-slathered pizza. I was right, sort of. It didn't taste quite right but at least it tasted like SOMETHING. A good start,
Oh and we noticed that the laws on distracted driving haven't made it this far South yet. Everyone was driving on their cell phone. EVERYONE.
After getting back to the hotel and settling in, I remembered that I had forgotten to pack solution for my contact lenses. Seemed like I was about to find out if our driver was full of shit or not, as it was now dark and I was going to have to wander the streets looking for some.
I confess I didn't feel very safe at first, but I soon noticed lots of people on the streets and not a whiff of trouble. Families out walking, older couples together, women walking by themselves.... I felt pretty silly being concerned. Either the driver was right and this neighborhood was very safe, or there were about to be a record number of robberies and murders in this six block radius of Little Cuba tonight. I'll go with the former.
As I'm writing this it is Thursday morning around 9 AM and Tracey is already out of the shower. You read that right. The process has begun and it's still morning!!! We have no definite plans yet (although IHOP is calling right now) for the day, just going to do a little shopping and relax before the cruise begins tomorrow.
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