Monday, 4 April 2016

Vacation Blog VI: Post Wrestlemania Hangover of sorts......and the world's worst golf

8:14 AM - Not a legitimate hangover or anything, but why am I up so damn early? I probably didn't get to sleep until around 2 AM. Oh I long for the days before my sleep-in mojo left me so abruptly.

I suspect about 75% of you just said something to the effect of "he just got off an amazing one week Caribbean cruise and now he's in Disneyworld, and he's complaining about only getting 6 hours sleep? What an asshole".

Fair point.

I head out to our patio to sit and enjoy the morning while Tracey sleeps. As I mentioned previously, we back right onto the golf course, so in the hour or so I am sitting out there I get to witness the worst golf in the history of mankind. Seriously, some of these people must think that because they are staying at a resort with a golf course that they are contractually required to play. Most of them look like they have never played in their lives. I cannot think of any other rational explanation.

One old guy duffs the ball to within about 30 feet of me and then proceeds to hit it 6 more inches (at which point his obviously very helpful cart-mate says "Five!"). He then hits it again and again (SIX! SEVEN!) and again until he finally makes some contact and deposits it right into the lake. It was honestly hard not to laugh out loud.

In the time I spent out there I must have seen, no exaggeration, 40 balls plunked into the lake. And it's a very small lake. And it's not that close to the green; in other words, it's really not even in play. But these chowderheads have ALL found a way to put it in play.

Old Bertha walks up to her pretty pink ball, sitting in the middle of the fairway and has so much confidence she is going to put it into the water that she takes her special pink ball and changes it out for a white one.

And old Bertha was right. Ker-plunk.

First time in my life I ever considered re-selling lost golf balls as a legitimate career.

TWO more balls into the lake in the time it took me to type that last sentence. Tracey just got up and came out here to join me and has seen three balls into the water in the 2 minutes she's been out here. Unreal.

Maybe they don't understand how the game is supposed to work?? The ball goes in the hole, not into the lake, dumbass.

Very people-friendly wildlife out here as well. Squirrels are all over the place. You know, cousin Eddie used to eat these things until he found out they were high in cholesterol.

Also some beautiful birds hanging around and a wild rabbit came closer to me than I've ever seen before. Rabbits are usually so skittish around people.

Ker-plunk. Again.

Two squirrels seem to be actually playing with each other, I've never seen that before. Or maybe they are fighting.

Oh hang on, they are doing something completely different. Oh Jesus. That was disturbing.

Lady just walked up and put the ball OVER the water, and literally yelled "woo-hoo!!!!!". You would think they were trying to hit the ball over Lake Ontario. It's about 11 yards wide at it's widest point. At it's narrowest point, I could jump over it.

11:00 AM - Tracey made some wonderful bacon and eggs for breakfast and we decided to relax for a little while and then hit the pool for some unscheduled and unsanctioned pool time. Tracey approves.

I also approve because Bitchy Bear, Snippy Bear, Grouchy Bear and Grumpy Bear are all allergic to water. And to pool complexes.

We head over to the nearest pool complex, which is about a 4 minute walk from our villa. It's one of the smaller areas in the resort but it's still gorgeous. This resort is really terrific.

2:00 PM - Back from the pool and getting ready to head to Epcot. We have 3 Fastpasses booked again today and dinner reservations at their nice Italian restaurant. We haven't eaten there before but I've heard excellent things.

The big happenings at Epcot is the re-imagining of the Maelstrom ride in the Norway pavilion into a Frozen ride. I'm sure it will be awesome but we are missing the grand opening by about three weeks. Damn.

2:45 PM - We have discovered quite a loophole into paying for parking at Epcot; we park at the Fantasia Mini-Golf area (free parking), and walk about 1/4 mile to the Swan and Dolphin resorts which has a boat that goes to the Boardwalk and then to Epcot. Bam. Zero dollars for parking at Epcot, AND, more importantly, a very lovely boat ride.

Our first Fastpass for the day is at the Epcot Character Greeting spot, where we think we are going to get pictures with some very rare characters, Baymax from Big Hero 6, and Joy and Sadness from Inside Out. Turns out that I misunderstood though, and there is no Fastpass for those particular pictures, but our Fastpass gets us into pics with Minnie, Mickey and Goofy. We'll have to go back at our next opportunity and get the other pics.

4:30 PM - Our early dinner reservations at Tutto Italia, in the Italian Pavilion in the World Showcase part of the park. It's a nice, if not spectacular, restaurant. Tracey's pasta is really good. My chicken dish is OK, but the breast is slightly overcooked. It's a decent meal but below the usual Disney standards. For wine we chose an Italian Chardonnay which is pretty decent.

After dinner we wander through the park taking in the sights. It is their annual International Flower and Garden Festival and the topiaries are quite impressive as they always are. This is our fourth trip to Florida and three of them have been during this Festival.

7:40 PM - After a few more experiences and a lot of walking, we are beat. Yes we are really old. Five hours in a Disney park seems to be just about it for us, especially in the heat. We certainly can't bitch about the weather though, it's gorgeous and not very humid.

Home to the resort to get a good night's sleep, tomorrow is a very big day in a different way from today. Tomorrow we check into the Grand Floridian Hotel, for one night only, and have dinner at Victoria & Albert's.


No comments:

Post a Comment