Monday, 28 March 2016

Vacation Blog, Part VI; I have encountered Death, and she be a very old lady in a scooter


Monday, March 28th

9:00 AM – Ah yes, this is what it feels like to be rested. I remember this feeling, back in Aught 8 I remember sleeping this well. Tracey jokes that I tried to fit a year’s worth of sleep into one day. Whatever works.

Back to the breakfast buffet and another round of really good quality food. This experience is sullied a bit by a family of 5 sitting next to us who’s kids are out of control. The mother is such a See-You-Next-Tuesday than when her husband sits down with a bowl of cream of wheat, she actually refuses to let him eat it. “Cream of wheat is what they serve to poor people in countries where they don’t have enough money for actual food” she tells him. I pity those three kids.

Oh and one big problem with the food in this country is their cheese. Memo to my American friends: your cheese tastes like the Grinch shoved a block of Velveeta up his ass. It’s so awful. Which is why, true story, we brought some cheese slices and three boxes of Kraft Dinner on this trip in our luggage. At the resort we are going to want a few cheap quick meals, and I’m not eating the Grinch’s leftovers.

No big plans for today, we are going to chill on the balcony for a while and then Tracey is going to go play Bingo at 11 AM.  

Noon: Bingo has come and gone, and my wife is a loser as always. She is the worst Bingo player alive I swear. Shame. I wonder if she knows how the game is actually supposed to work?

Lunch buffet time, and then up to the pool. The buffet goes swimmingly; the pool notsomuch, as we can’t even get close enough to see the pool, let alone swim in it. Oh well, I guess we’ll just have to suffer and go back to our huge private balcony and relax there.

I swear I need another nap.

We crack open the 2013 Mondavi Cabernet Sauvignon we bought at Costco and relax by “our” pool, the ocean, as we rest and read and enjoy the wine and scenery. So far, this has been a pretty great trip and it’s only day 2. Or 3. I can’t even keep track.

5:30 PM – Dinner tonight is at La Cucina, the pay-a-la-carte Italian restaurant. When we took our first Norwegian cruise a few years ago, the “premium” restaurants were an extra charge, but a fixed charge; IIRC, La Cucina was $25/person for whatever we wanted. Today’s dinner costs us $55 including tip, so in the same ballpark, but I don’t think we’d ever go back. Why? Not the quality of the restaurant or the food, which was excellent; but it just wasn’t worth the $55 in comparison to the first two “free” restaurants that we’ve eaten in. They seem to have made their free restaurants so good that it doesn’t make sense to pay extra to eat the same quality food in comparable ambiance, IMO. So far this trip I’ve had free Filet Mignon, free Filet Mignon ($25 actually but only an extra charge because of the lobster tail that came with it), and $20 Filet Mignon (sans lobster). All were prepared differently but all were fantastic. Why pay for what you can get for nothing? Strange business plan, IMO.

Anyway no complaints, we had a great meal, which went very well with the 2011 Brunello di Montalcino that was recommended to us by the wine guy at Costco.

There is a lady we keep bumping into that is creeping me out big time. She seems pleasant enough, always smiling from her scooter, but secretly I suspect she is actually Grim Death. Every time I walk by her I am expecting her to tap me on the shoulder with her boney finger and call me home. Go away, Reaper, it’s not my time yet!!!! I have so much wine left to drink!

7:30 PM – After dinner we are back in the room to relax for a few minutes while we contemplate our next battle plan. In a couple hours there is Beatles trivia so we will be attending that shindig but for now, we have a little extra time.

9:30 PM – We arrive for the Beatles Name That Tune, where we know we are going to ace the thing and take home the million dollar prize*

9:34 PM – They’ve now played four songs we’ve never heard in our lives, so we are clearly lesser Beatles fans than we thought.

We only get 12/20 correct. Oh man that’s ugly. In fairness, they went WAYYYYYY into the obscure Beatles catalogue for some of them. The winning team got 17/20 right and there must have been 40 teams playing, it was packed. Even after they told us the correct name of the songs there were 3-4 that meant nothing to us.

10:30 PM – Back to the room because we are old as F**K and it’s bedtime. The less sleep I get the better chance that Mother Reaper is going to catch up to me this trip.


*prize may not actually exist

Tomorrow:  a little tour of St. Thomas, on the US Virgin Islands

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